She talks them up as shopping trips or yoga retreats, but we all know it's just an excuse for to get away and drink with her other lush friends without judgment.She stands shading me with her obvious displease. Then with sigh, she spins, gets in her car and drives away.'Love you too mom...." I mutter and continue stretching.After a few minutes in the sunshine, I stand up still feeling sticky and sweaty, and decide on a nice long shower. I open the door and stand inside for a moment, enjoying the quiet and the air conditioning. I don't see you anywhere, so I toss my iPod on my bed, kick off my sneakers and head to the bathroom. The house is unnaturally quiet; it's a rare Saturday that you aren't parked on the couch doing crosswords with sports blaring away.I peel off my yoga pants before the door even closes. I toss it them in the corner, smiling, no mom at home to bitch about the mess. But I'll be sure to clean up before she gets home. I stand in front of the mirror and pull my long. Jessica walks into my cubicle and follows my gaze as I study the crap hanging on the wall. There's a MCSE certificate, several Lotus diplomas, and assorted odds and ends from years of company-paid Geek U courses. If I stick with this job for another five years, there'll be twice the number of paper certificates on that wall, and I'll still feel exactly as smart as I do now.It occurs to me that the path on which I have put myself leads straight to the end of a mediocre life. I'll always be smack dab in the middle of average territory, waiting for my real life to begin."What are you thinking about?" she asks."You know, I think I've been pissing my life away," I say."Oh, boy." Jessica pulls up one of my chairs and plops herself down on it."Thinking about hanging up the old pocket protector and going off to Key West to be a beach bum until the savings run out?" Not precisely," I smile. "Truth be told, I have no idea what I really want to do. I'm just pretty sure I don't want to be doing.
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